As I get older, I often reminisce about past times and how our society has changed. It is funny and ironic because I also remember my dad telling me how things used to be back in his day. Now, when I have children, I will be saying the same things to them. I remember a time, not too long ago, when we did not have cellular phones. If we did, we had the bag phone, or the phone Nino Brown made popular in the movie, New Jack City. Do you remember pagers or beepers? I remember going to Exxon, or BP in Winston-Salem and returning a page on a pay phone. When I left my parents house, I kept a quarter in my pocket for that very reason. During my freshmen year of college, I had a cell phone, but I had limited minutes. By my junior year, my phone was able to send and receive text messages. Before that time, we had to dial a number, press send and actually “talk” to the person at the other end of the phone. The ability to communicate effectively is very important and I feel that text messages, emails, bbm’s and other non-personal communicative methods have seriously set our society back.
Getting to Know Someone of the Opposite Sex
Back in the day, when you mustered up enough courage to approach a beautiful young woman, you knew that getting her telephone number was only half the battle. You knew that you would have to call her. You knew you would need to be able to hold an intelligent conversation if you wanted things to go further. You had to decide when the best time to call was. Should you call the next day? Should you play it cool and wait a few days? Should you call her the same day? (You might seem pressed) Should I call in the afternoon, or should I wait until the night to call. If I call at night, what message would that send to her with respect to the type of woman I think she is? Most people had all or at least some of these questions swirling around in their minds. Once you finally called the young lady, it was time to talk to her. This lead to another set of questions. Should you lead the conversation? Should you allow her to lead the conversation and show her your keen ability to listen? No matter how you answered the questions in your head, you knew that you had to talk to the young lady. You did not have the ability to send a text message. You could not send her a message on Facebook or Twitter. In my opinion, those people who text and never call really (1) don’t have good communication skills or (2) are not that interested in hearing what you have to say.
The Effect of Lack of Communication Skills
If you have ever been to a networking event, you have certainly seen the person who looks like a deer in head lights. They are inevitably stationed at the food or drink bar, and look uncomfortable. I am so happy I came of age at a time when communication skills were important in society. Networking leads to jobs, contacts, and opportunities. I fear the younger generation is ill equipped to network and hold conversations that may lead to opportunities. I cannot blame this problem solely on text messages, however. Email has also contributed to the younger generations’ inability to effectively communicate. It is so bad in some professional offices that employees send emails to people only a few feet from them. Email is a fantastic invention and undoubtedly has improved communication and made it a lot faster and efficient. However, emailing instead of picking of the telephone to make a phone call can have an adverse effect as well. For instance, when following up on a job lead, I believe people should call the possible employer. Calling a person sends the message that you are confident; you are not hiding behind an email; and you are seriously pursuing the position. The potential employer can hear and appreciate how much you want the job. Emotion cannot always be understood through emails or text messages.
Miscommunication is Rampant
How many times have you sent a text message and the receiver misunderstood your intended message? You may intend the message to be sarcastic, but not crass or mean. When the message is misunderstood by the receiver, it causes serious problems. This is equally applicable to emails. I received emails in the past that I had no idea what the sender intended. I interpreted it in one way and the receiver intended to convey a completely different message. Also, despite the best networks in the world, sometimes people DO NOT receive text messages and emails. People become enraged and are ready to fire a retaliatory response when they send a message and feel they are being ignored. I must admit, this is certainly not a good feeling. However, had you picked up the phone to call the person, you would be able to speak to the person, or leave a voice mail which is more reliable than a text message or email. I have been accused of not answering a text message before and it is frustrating especially when you did not receive a message. In the Turner Law Building at NCCU School of Law, if Verizon Wireless was your service provider, you did not have service on the first floor, or basement level of the school. If someone sent you a text message while you were in either place, you did not receive it. How many relationships suffered and will continue to suffer because of failed communication? The moral of this story is twofold: 1) take communication seriously, and (2) do not rely on an email or text message when a phone call is more reliable.
Peace
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